...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My friends, they love my intelligence
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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