I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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