xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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