I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.