so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me