And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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