oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
