either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
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Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.