why didn't you poke me back
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.