He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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