i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
