i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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