im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
