i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
