To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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