You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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