Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
