she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
