I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
