ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
