If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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