and you said cock pushups were impossible
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have aggressive nipples.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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