I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
