told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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