We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
