Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
