i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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