it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
