i wish starbucks made bloody marys
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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