No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
