i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The feeling are messing with the penis
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
