If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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