Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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