So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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