What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
