maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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