come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
