bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
