I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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