I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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