Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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