We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
