What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
