what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
