It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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