i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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