even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
