I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
