dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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