im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
