I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
