You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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