we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
