Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
