We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
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He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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