i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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