no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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