Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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