My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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