too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
