And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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