Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
