Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
