I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
