I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
