If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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