...so i touched it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
