Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm way too hungover for life right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
