He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
