I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize