they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
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I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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